(cooking fried chicken with homemade batter)
Wilson: Are you sure this is gonna taste good?
Paul: It batter be! ... HA, SEE WHAT I DID THERE!
Me: HAHAHA SO LAME.
Wilson: *clueless*
(later...)
Wilson: Oops, I farted.
Paul: YER, THE CHICKEN SPOIL ALREADY LAH!
(while shopping in Zara)
Zara salesman: Girls lately, they're dressing more boho chic and dressing less like Ke$ha.
(nearly lunchtime in college)
Nick (annoying kid in class): *stands up from seat and yells out loud* I got a stomach ache *runs for the door*
Me: SURE, WE NEEDED TO KNOW THAT. NOW I CAN HAVE THE BEST LUNCH OF MY LIFE.
Sam: That Ed Lane/Hugh Dillon guy looks like Voldemort with a nose.
Me: OH MY GOD YOU JUST DID NOT. TAKE THAT BACK!
(here's where I recommend you all to watch Flashpoint, a totally amazing show if you love Criminal Minds, Bones, CSI and other shows that fucks up your glass full of optimism-- come on, Kimberly from Power Rangers is in it. what more do you need?)
(random tweet on Twitter)
"Woke up to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed- at first I was afraid, then I was petrified."
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